Field Guide to Convention Wildlife

After what seems like a million conventions, I have compiled a field guide to the most frequently sighted specimens.  Perhaps you have seen some of these yourself:

1. Prospectus obliviata (The Wondering Prospect) – usually spotted walking slowly in a serpentine pattern, gazing up, without any clue as to what he’s doing or where he’s going.
2. Papyrus accumulata (The Literature Collector) – can be identified by its bulging bag of brochures, coupons, flyers, and catalogs, most of which will end up in a recycling bin at the end of the day.
3. Pathus coagulatii (The Aisle Clogger) – generally seen stopped in the middle of an aisle, or even better, an intersection, engaged in a long and involved conversation, usually involving hand gestures. This behavior is often preceded by a sudden stop, so as to force a collision with those walking behind.
4. Wheelium rotatus (The Wheel Spinner) – a convention attendee, usually one making $400k+, who will stand in line for 20 minutes to spin a wheel for a pack of gum or other trinket.
5. Baggus tripata (The Bag Dragger) – an individual who drags a wheeled suitcase around the show floor, while others trip over it.  Particularly common during peak periods when traffic is most heavy.
6. Bambino strollifera (The Stroller Pusher) – an increasingly endangered species due to new regulations at some shows.  Can be found pushing a stroller containing a screaming child through the hall, accomplishing both to clog the aisles and inflict various injuries on those who collide with it.
7. Baggus pendulumnus (The Tote Bag Swinger) – Closely related to Baggus tripata, this species can be identified by the pendulum-like motion of a full tote bag, which often results in clipping those walking in front precisely in the backs of the knees.
8. Samplus grabbiosa (The Sample Grabber) – Most often recognized by the darting motions of its hands as it scoops free samples and giveaways off counters while walking by.  Juveniles of the species are particularly prevalent.
9. Phonus blatherus (The Cell Phone Yakker) – Easy to spot as this species is generally oblivious to its surroundings.  May be stationary or transitory.  Quite common in all regions.
10. Juvenilis non-babysitterus (The Child Dragger) – This species mistakenly anticipates that its young will enjoy attending a convention and when it becomes apparent that the juveniles are becoming unmanageable, they entertain them by encouraging them to play with items on display, particularly those that can be stained, misaligned, or broken.

Comments

[Political Science Dissertation]

Blogs are so informative where we get lots of information on any topic. Nice job keep it up!!

[Mike McCue]

Great post -- you had me laughing into my morning coffee. My very favorite is the Samplus Grabbiosa. I spent a few years as a marketing director for a healthcare IT firm and oversaw plenty of trade shows during my time with that company, and I always laughed at the people who walk around with a plastic bag like it's Halloween.
However, I must say that I have an old friend -- an economist at Princeton named Uwe Reinhardt, who's a brilliant healthcare analyst -- who used to go around at trade shows when no one was in the booths and snag as many bright, shiny things as he could. Then he sent them to his son Mark, who was serving with the Marines in Iraq, and Mark would hand them out to the Iraqi children. We gotta recognize the do-gooders for their efforts!

[TJ McCue]

Nancy
Fantastically fun post! I have seen all of these, although i am tending to check out the virtual trade shows more and more. I have clients using them, in some fashion, so we miss out on the real life people-watching opportunities.
TJ