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August 16, 2006

Diving on the Civility Grenade

By Hap Cooper

No one is going to ask you or me to deliver civility training—but do we have a responsibility to "work it in" to other soft skills training we conduct?  If we don't, who will? 

I've done a lot of thinking about last week's group, and two themes stand out. To their credit, these 22-to 25-year-old adults certainly have their sights set high. One participant declared, "I plan to be the next J. P. Morgan!" Another assured me he'd be retired and living in Hawaii before age 30. Good for them. They all attended good schools and are part of this new hire class at a prestigious global investment bank. They have succeeded in nearly everything they've tried and expect big things to come. 

But the other major theme doesn't bode well for the accomplishment of the first. The strong independence and confidence seems to have a dark side—their focus on individual rights, privacy and entitlement overwhelms any sense of community, responsibility or accountability to the group. They didn't play well in the sandbox together. They were given a team project and behaved as a confederation of individuals concerned exclusively with their specific role in the execution of the assignment—and it showed. They were selfish, and when they failed, they blamed each other. This highly competitive, yet uncooperative approach won't get them past the midpoint of the corporate ladder—yet alone Hawaii.

But it goes beyond that. As I relayed last week, they weren't even civil. We are growing the next generation of ego-centric Masters of the Universe who holler into cell phones on public conveyances, cut you off in traffic to beat you to the red light and excoriate volunteer referees at their children's 6-and-under soccer scrimmages. We are allowing bright young recruits to develop into self-serving employees, abusive bosses and managers not cut out for the high ethical standards of corporate governance.

Can they be stopped? Is there time? Is it our job?

Concerning civility alone—it seems to be an important part of leadership, sales, service, communications and virtually any other soft skill we may be training. But I think it is often taken for granted. Disengaging the autopilot and sensitizing our charges to how they're being perceived is difficult, and if not done right, has a high potential to backfire. But can we afford not to try? 

Hap Cooper is a prolific speaker and writer focused principally on the areas of change management and sales effectiveness. He is a managing director of The Baron Group, a research, training and consulting firm headquartered in Westport, Conn.

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